A Skit re U.S. President – by Victoria Yeager age 14-15

August 23rd, 2014

At Shipley School, in 9th or 10th grade, we had a semester of creative writing essentially. We could write what we want – perhaps it was once a week- from free prose, to poems, to skits, to haikus – it was up to us.

I found some of those which I had written. Below is a skit I had written age 14 or 15.

The scene is a news conference with the President of the U.S.

Every time the Pres. finishes a statement all the reporters shout, “Mr. President” so that he will recognize one of them.

Mr. Pres. (points to one of the reporters): Yes?

Reporter: What do you think of all the illegal campaign funds?

Pres: Well, I certainly do not think that illegal campaigns can be fun.

Rep: No, sir but what do you proposed to do about them?

Pre: I can not possibly take them if that’s what you’re suggesting! (Off to the head of the conference) Who is this insolent boy? Has the IRS reviewed him yet?

Reporter: I’m terribly sorry sir, I didn’t mean…What I meant was –

Pres.: Well, why didn’t you say what you mean in the first place?

Rep: UH! Sorry sir…

Pres.: God on! (said patiently)

Rep: I’ve forgotten…. (Searches paper for his question. Flustered).

Pres.: I certainly don’t remember. (Looks around for another reporter).

All reporters are asking for his recognition.

Reporter: (frustrated but trying not to be overwhelmed) Mr. President?

(President nods).

Reporter: My question was what do you propose to do about the Senators and Congressmen who have received monies which are illegal?

President: Who received your niece? And that’s illegal? Just what kind of business is your niece in that it is illegal? (To the head of the conference): Take down the name of this man! And get the name and address of his sister; I think I better handle this personally. (Looks around for another reporter as the first one slowly shows defeat).

Second reporter: Sir, how do you feel about the situation in Angola?

Pres.: It certainly is situated pretty far South. Don’t a lot of birds go there for the winter? I see a lot have stayed for spring and summer instead of going back to their native Russia.

Rep, 2nd: Uh, sir, how do you feel about sending troops there?

Pres.: Groups? Groups of what? What is there to do in Angola with all that fighting? The groups would probably not be able to see anything: the tourist traps would be closed during the fighting season.

Rep., 2nd: Troops, sir, not groups.

Pres.: Troupes of strolling players perhaps? What are you crazy? (To the head of the conference) Who is this boy? Our troupes would be shot at and killed if we sent them there.

Rep., 2nd: Sir, I mean armies.

Pres.: What about armies?

2nd Rep: Send them to Angola?

Pres.: Where does she reside?

2nd Rep.: Who reside, Sir?

Pres.: Angola, Angie. Whatever her name is? Wait is she the niece of that last fellow? In that case, where does she live? She is probably expensive, too…. (Keeps talking as the reporters slowly all have temper tantrums or crying fits).


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